it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
