We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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