I must be too annoying 4 u.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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