I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
