I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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