i was born a porn star she said
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
