She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
