I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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