Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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