Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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