Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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