I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
