just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
