Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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