how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
