the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
