a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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