i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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