dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
