I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
