After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby