She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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