My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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