If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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