dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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