just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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