how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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