so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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