How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize