Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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