I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
