She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
