Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
