I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
