Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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