I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
