What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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