VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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