almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
