I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
