it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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