It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
