Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
