why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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