That's intense
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
