It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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