4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize