Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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