I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
