he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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