Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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