I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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