matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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