This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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