y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize