I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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