just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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