ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
