Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
