You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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